Your Mess Is Your Message

I’ve been part of Business Sorority since 2013 and at the time I joined the group I had no idea how much it would impact and change my life. Yet it has changed and impacted me in pretty much all aspects of my life.

In addition to my role as Philanthropy Chair and finding an outlet to express my passion for supporting the great work being done in our community, it’s become a group of what I call my chosen family.

I’m surrounded by incredible people who are an inspiration. Without knowing these amazing women who are authentic, genuine, strong, creative and totally badass, I don’t know that I would’ve remembered and found the strength to end my marriage. Not to mention navigating the brutal process of divorce, healing and inner transformation that followed.

At yesterday’s BS luncheon, one of the founding sisters and kickass speakers (from whom I’ve learned a ton!!!) LeeAnn, The Car Chick spoke about “your mess is your message”. Well, YES.

I’ve typically been a very private person, and no one is more surprised than me at how openly I have and do share my own mess and experience on my path to being joyfully divorced. But it’s a mess I’m passionate about sharing because I’m not at all ashamed. In fact, I am so incredibly proud of myself.

By sharing my own messy life experience it opens the door for others to feel safe to share their story, even just a part of it. It lets others know they’re not alone in having gone through challenges and it also lets those currently experiencing or considering a major life transition that there is light on the other side.

Two years ago I remember very clearly how completely miserable I was, actively avoiding being anywhere but at home. Every single day I was just trying to survive and get through that one day. It was dark, oppressive and completely exhausting. In the middle of that darkness I had no idea how to get out of it or what a different life might look and feel like two years later.

Yet I had all of these friends and sisters in my life that I knew had experienced challenges and not only survived, they thrived. Not just in spite of the challenges, maybe even because of those very experiences.

Once you’ve experienced and gone through any challenge there is an inner strength and badass confidence that await. Two years ago I wanted to be anywhere but at home. Today I am sitting in my peaceful home, a space I LOVE and have reclaimed as my own. I get to decide who I spend time with, I get to decide everything in my life. The freedom is exhilarating and while I wouldn’t wish the experience of divorce on anyone, there is a level of joy, wisdom and strength I was unable to imagine waiting on the other side.

I don’t believe any of us gets through life without experiencing messiness. Your mess is your message and you’re invited to share it with those you love, trust and respect. Sharing your mess may just open the door and provide a glimmer of light to someone who needs to receive it. To be invited to whisper, “me, too”. And to be seen not for a title, role or profession but as a beautifully complex and at times messy human being.

What is your story? I would love to hear it. Chances are there are many people out there who would benefit from hearing about your mess too.

All the Best,


Copyright©2017 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Your Mess Is Your Message”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, NC Residential Real Estate Broker in Charlotte NC’s real estate market serving neighborhoods in Charlotte NC




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